


Claimed: On the subject of failed auspisticism and other related topics

by ChasetheSun2, purpleWhimsies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 16:46:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17687261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasetheSun2/pseuds/ChasetheSun2, https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleWhimsies/pseuds/purpleWhimsies
Summary: Kankri has two ashen mates who would fall apart without him, he's sure. Problem is, he's slowly coming to realize he's a little more than ashen for both of them. And the worst part is, he knows that they know it, too.Welp, time to pack up and run away.





	Claimed: On the subject of failed auspisticism and other related topics

**Author's Note:**

> FINALLY putting my polyswap fic out there! Thanks so much to Sky for doing the art for this fic, I've been not so secretly DYING over it since you showed me the first sketches!!!

Not for the first time in the last few sweeps had Kankri’s peaceful breakfast been interrupted by the sounds of screaming and slamming doors. He flinched, spilling hibiscus tea on his tablecloth and scowling as it splattered bright pink against the white lace. Suddenly his appetite was the furthest thing from his mind. He set the teacup down and stood up, carefully and orderly placing his napkin on the table, then his book, all neatly arranged beside his untouched plate of creamy scrambled eggs and toast.

Breakfast had been ruined for the third time that week.

The voices coming from the downstairs dwelling - a common room between the four apartments of the hivestem - belonged to the two other cohabitants. Cronus, the shorter, stockier of the two, currently had Kurloz in a headlock. The sticklike troll in the skeleton onesie was currently trying to jerk his horns back into Cronus’ face, daring him to flinch and break the hold. As Kankri stepped down the stairs and into the room, they both looked up at him for only one second, and then went right back to their squabble. Kankri sighed openly and folded his arms.

“Really.” He said with a distasteful, bored tone to his voice. “Even for the both of you this is beyond unnecessary. It’s nine in the morning, you should both be off doing something a little more productive with your day - Kurloz, weren’t you supposed to be helping Mituna with his physical therapy today?”

_It got canceled._ Inside Kankri’s head, Kurloz’s voice came as a deathly sort of rattle that to anyone else might have been frightening. To him, it was just another aspect of the creepy clown. _Bitch over here decided that he wanted to steal my phone._

“It was a joke!” Cronus’ voice was strained as he tried to keep Kurloz under control in his arms, but the other was just as strong despite his stringbean frame. “Kanny, tell Kurloz to let up, he fuckin punched me over a goddamn phone!”

“Cronus--” Kankri began, but he didn’t get a chance to finish. Kurloz elbowed Cronus in the face, causing his nose to suddenly blossom in purple. Cronus backed off and covered his nose with a litany of muffled swears that made Kankri’s hair stand on end. He grit his teeth, fingers digging into the wooly sweater he wore as if trying to calm himself down. _Deep breaths, Vantas. Easy now, calm down._

“And people call me the insufferable one.” He huffed, looking away from the two of them. Kurloz had snatched his phone back and was marching off with a sour look on his face. Kankri stopped him, taking his hand and giving it a firm, no-nonsense pat, as if that would soothe him any. It only seemed to annoy Kurloz further and he gave Kankri a huff and a pursed-lipped expression as he stormed away. “Honestly, anyone who deigned to live with you two and your shenanigans for more than a perigee would say differently.”

Kurloz snorted and rolled his eyes, having caught Kankri’s words from the edge of the stairs. _Encouraging words from a terrible auspistice._ He said, raising a brow, and Kankri bristled.

“Excuse you?” He said, indignant. “I work my hardest to make sure that the two of you don’t tear out one another’s throats, thank you, not to mention the frankly insane amount of work I put into this house.”

Cronus gave a snort, spitting out bloody mucus into the sink. He rolled his shoulders, pulling a dishcloth off the oven rack and putting it over his bloody nose. Kankri gave him a withering look, snatching it away and pressing a paper towel to his nose instead, ignoring the hiss of pain he got. He flipped Kurloz the bird, fins flaring when he got the same motion in return from the clown. Kankri rolled his eyes at the two of them.

“Honestly, if I wasn’t around this whole hivestem would crumble.” He said, turning on the water to wash away the bloody evidence in the sink with a disgusted look. “Someone has to keep you two sane.”

“Yeah, sure, Kanny, that’s why you stick around.” Cronus’ voice was muffled by the swelling in his nose and the paper towel over his face. “Not like you get any sorta sick pleasure from watchin us beat each other up or anythin. Bet you wanna join in on the action sometimes, don’tcha?”

Cronus’ words shocked Kankri. He blinked, stunned for several moments, looking over at Cronus with wide eyes. For a minute all he could do was gape like a fish, lips working but no sound coming out. His cheeks flushed. Kurloz and Cronus were both looking at him now, Cronus looking smug and Kurloz carrying an expression of vague interest. With the spotlight on him, suddenly he felt very hot under the collar, and he tilted his head up, tossing his horns back in challenge.

“Absolutely not.” He said, forcing his mouth down into a thin line. “I wouldn’t be foolish enough to want to hate either of you, much less both of you at the same time.”

And of course it was the truth, at least, in Kankri’s mind. Both the other trolls looked dubious, though, and Kankri felt the need to defend himself. “What? I know better than to get involved in that nonsense. Stop looking at me like that, both of you.”

Worse than staring at him, the two of them shared a _look_ that Kankri neither knew nor liked. His lips pursed and he scratched at his arm in an impatient tic. “What was that.”

“What was what?” Cronus said innocently, looking away from Kurloz and back to Kankri. Kurloz, in the meantime, smiled almost sweetly and patted Kankri’s shoulder, ignoring the annoyed scoff he got in return. Instead he headed out the door. “We didn’t do nothin, Kanny. What, a little look got you nervous now? Wonder why.”

Kankri wanted to retort, but found that for once nothing was coming to mind. Instead, he gave Cronus a withering look, nostrils flaring.

“That was not a ‘little look’ and you know it,” was all he managed to say before scampering from the room. Cronus’ laughter at his retreating back rang in his ears.

  


 

Things had been normal in the household, up until that morning when Cronus had decided to burst the bubble. Kankri had been, for almost the sweep that they’d been existing on this new Earth, acting as auspistice between Kurloz and Cronus  and assuring that neither one gravely hurt the other. It was harder than expected, or maybe Kankri had just underestimated the two of them, two highbloods who would go for the throat with claws and fangs bared like animals. For the first little while, he’d tried to push the values of communication and mutual understanding and rivalry on the two of them, but neither one of them would have it. No, the two preferred to go at one another like spitting meowbeasts and have Kankri dive into the middle hoping to rescue whatever frayed bits of his sanity he had left when they were done.

More than once Kankri had gotten a knee to the gut or a fist to the face, and it seemed like neither one of them cared to stop long enough to make sure their precious club was alright. He was beginning to feel...underappreciated. Frustrated, even. But when he brought it up with the two of them, they were swift to remind him that he was the only one who tolerated them both enough to have to deal with pulling them out of their fights. More than once Kankri had gone away from these conversations with a heat in his cheeks and gut, severely debating leaving them both just for the sake of his own mental wellbeing.

He knew, though, that they were right. What he’d said that day that Cronus had broken his nose was right, too. Without him they would be pathetically lost. Neither one of them knew how to safely interact with a spade, not without killing or severely injuring one another. How many times exactly had Kankri had to stop one of them from goring the other with their horns? Honestly, they didn’t even know how to fight like civilized trolls.

With that in mind, weary and more than a little sore both emotionally and physically, Kankri continued. For their sakes. He couldn’t lie to himself, though, it was getting more than a little tiring. He could feel it in his gut, the heaviness and the burn that settled there whenever he set eyes on either one of them. The urge to curl up his fists and begin hitting was getting stronger and stronger every day, and it tempted him more than he would ever admit to either of them.

It was with these thoughts in mind that he made a decision one sunny Tuesday morning, about a week after Cronus had had his nose broken. For once he was up before them, cooking the two of them breakfast and humming as he worked away. It was peaceful in the morning, the silence of the hivestem only permeated by the chirps of birds outside the kitchen window. Kankri could get used to this silence, he thought, glancing hazily out the window as the food cooked in the pan. No fighting, no one making a mess, no nothing. Just bliss and chirping birds. Peace.

The idea came to him as spotted the two of them shuffling down into the common kitchen. He mulled it over while he poured up fresh orange juice and tea for them both, then finally spoke.

“I think I want to go on a trip,” Kankri announced, setting a plate of scrambled cluckbeast eggs and roasted peppers down in front of both of them. No good morning, no hello of any sort. He was far too impatient for pleasantries this morning. “I’ve been cooped up far too long and I think I deserve a vacation this point. It’d be nice to get some peace and quiet after all the chaos here, don’t you think?”

Both Kurloz and Cronus looked up. Cronus looked shocked and confused, while Kurloz just looked….angry. Kankri had seen that look on his face before, sure, but not….like that. Not directed at him. It almost made him shiver and he had to avert his eyes, turning back to the kitchen counter to make himself a cup of tea.

“You can’t go.” Cronus said, the dumbfounded look translating to his tone. “What’re we gonna do while you’re gone, huh?”

_Tear one another to pieces._ Kurloz’s voice didn’t sound too pleased in Kankri’s head. _Maybe that’s what he wants. I think what our punchline blooded brother is insinuating is that he wants a vacation from us and our ‘chaos’._

Kankri tutted, making sure not to look at Kurloz as he sat to the table with the two of them. “Nonsense.” He said airily. “And don’t call me that, Kurloz. You two have never progressed to killing one another before I came along, you can certainly last the two weeks I have planned--”

“Two _weeks?!_ ”

Cronus had stood up out of his chair so fast that it fell to the floor with a clatter. Now he was the one who looked angry as he faced a shocked Kankri, teeth bared and fins pinned back to the sides of his head. Something in the back of Kankri’s mind whispered _uh oh_ and _you fucked up, Kankri_ as he spotted that look, but there was not much he could say with the aggressive stance Cronus was currently pulling off in front of him. Instead, he just cringed away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kurloz, whose brows were vanishing into the curly locks of hair that hung over his forehead. Kurloz caught his eye and Kankri swallowed, looking away.

“Where the hell are you gonna go for two weeks?” Cronus demanded, glancing at Kurloz as if to back him up. “What are we gonna do? Do you really want to fuck off that bad? That really sucks for you then, I guess, cause we NEED you here! It’s not like you can just abandon us, you’re ours!”

There was a whining tone to Cronus’ voice that almost had Kankri convinced until his last few words. When he heard them, he almost seemed to relax a little, taking a deep breath through his nose and making his nostrils flare. He closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself.

“Kurloz,” He said softly, almost deathly quiet. Cronus’ fins drooped. “Is this how you feel as well, like I’m abandoning my post as your auspistice? That I want to simply leave you behind?”

There was a silence in the room as Kurloz pondered the question. Cronus was glaring at him as if saying the wrong words would be his downfall. Kankri was staring at the cup of tea in his hand, resolute in his decision to avoid both their faces.

“Keep in mind, of course, that I would be returning, I’m not simply leaving forever.” He added quickly.

_I wouldn’t say it so harshlike._ Kurloz finally said, slowly, as if choosing every syllable. _Might do a brother some good to take a breather if it means he comes back looking to help us out better._ He looked up at Kankri with a stern expression, really emphasizing those last few words, but Kankri was resolute in his decision not to look up.

There was a snarl and Cronus pounded the table. The resulting jump Kankri gave made tea spill all over his robe and he hissed softly. He looked up to reprimand the seadweller, but Cronus was already gone, stomping up the stairs like a wriggler. The door of his respiteblock slammed and Kankri flinched, setting down his teacup with a sigh. Just once, he’d like to have one pleasant cup of tea that doesn’t somehow get spilled all over his front. Just once he’d like it if he didn’t have to clean up Cronus’ dishes, too, but he knew that day would never come.

“I’m sorry to make you take sides, Kurloz.” He said evenly, reaching for a dish towel in the middle of the table and dabbing off the mess. “I appreciate you standing up for me.”

_You’re wrong._

Finally, Kankri looked up. “What?”

Kurloz was looking at him now with a frown on his painted face. His arms were folded and he leaned back in the kitchen chair, ears twitching in annoyance. When he spoke, his voice in Kankri’s head was slurred, like he was rushing to get the words out before he started yelling. _Leavin us for two weeks ain’t a breather, punchline._ He said sternly, nostrils flared. _And we both know it ain’t gonna be just that two weeks, either. It’s runnin away. Maybe Cronus wasn’t right in sayin’ you’re abandonin’ us, but you’re not just takin’ a trip either. I meant what I said about takin’ a vacation from us. I could get my understandin on if it were a few days, maybe a week, but two is taking a mile when you shoulda asked for an inch._

Kankri felt a roil in his gut like he’d just been told off by a schoolfeed teacher. His face burned and he scowled. “And who are you to decide whether or not I’m allowed to take a break for my own mental health? Whether I have to ask _permission_?”

_No one._ Kurloz shrugged and got up. _Just thought you wanted my input._

His voice was silky, slow and steady, and even the tone of it made Kankri want to…..want to something. A strange, hot sort of rage bubbled up in his stomach that burned his throat, heated his cheeks. He felt like he’d been suddenly called out, and worse yet, he knew Kurloz was right on the dot with his words. He quelled the fire in his gut as Kurloz walked away, gritting his teeth and clenching the tablecloth in his shaking hands.

_This is just anger,_ Kankri tried to tell himself, ears burning, eyes squeezed shut. _I’m just angry at him. This is perfectly normal and healthy feelings for a troll to feel._ But even as he forced himself to breathe steadily and push the thoughts down he knew he was lying.

“Don’t call me punchline!” He yelled, always wanting to have the last word. Kurloz’s door slammed in reply, leaving Kankri alone to clean up the mess made by their debacle.

The food Kankri had made sat untouched on their plates. Kankri sighed, standing up and rolling up his sleeves. It didn’t even seem worth it to put away the leftovers, especially since half of his plate was covered in tea. Even worse, Cronus’ was splattered halfway across the table from the force of his pounding fists. The only plate that even seemed a little salvageable was Kurloz’s.

“Guess no one’s eating this morning.” Kankri muttered bitterly to himself, gathering up the plates and scraping them off in the garbage. Already he could feel a headache coming on.

  


 

The rest of Kankri’s day was devoted to getting himself back under control. After the debacle that was breakfast, he found himself with more silent time than he’d ever anticipated having this morning with the birds. It looked like Cronus was solidly ignoring them both and nursing his hurt pride in his respiteblock. From the sounds of the guitar coming from his room, it looked like he was taking his frustrations out on the poor instrument. If Kankri’s emotions extended towards inanimate objects, he would pity the poor thing. For the time being, however, Kankri was just grateful that there was some sort of silence to the hive again.

Kurloz, in the meantime, was in the back with Meulin tending to their catnip garden in the backyard. He could hear her raucous giggles from the kitchen, where he was still cleaning up the mess he’d made while cooking breakfast. Meulin lived on the floor above them with most of the other girls, save for Meenah, who had opted for the top floor to herself. Of course. There was another one that Kankri would love to have _words_ with.

As it was, though, with both Kurloz and Cronus occupied Kankri was blissfully alone in his cleaning. It took almost no time before the kitchen was spotless, then the laundry started, the bathroom sparkling. It was a pastime for him, like reading, something that soothed him and took away his busy thoughts, leaving him content and empty headed.

Well, almost empty headed. Thoughts of his upcoming trip, places to go still filled his mind. Instead of having the cloud of doubt swirling around them from breakfast, however, he found himself daydreaming, planning every meticulous little detail down to the last minute. A dreamy look crossed his face as he hung up shirts in his closet, mentally making a list of which ones he’d take with him while he was gone. Planning, for him, was almost as fun as going.

For once it seemed like Kankri was going to have a good day despite the rough start. Even at almost four in the afternoon, when Kankri had just finished sweeping and mopping and Meulin stomped in wearing muddy boots, his mood couldn’t be shaken. He waved her off with a pleasant smile, motioning to her footwear.

“Shoes off at the door, please,” He said dreamily. “I just mopped.”

“Sorry, Kankri!” She chirped, a little loudly for Kankri’s comfort, but it was soothed when she immediately took off the dirty shoes and stockings and left them by the doormat. With a cheerful wave, she flounced off towards Kurloz’s room, stealing a homemade brownie as she left. Kankri didn’t even blink, and in fact, waved her off with a contented look.

Soon enough, Kurloz was joining her, and Kankri couldn’t help but scowl at him even as he carefully unlaced one boot at a time to leave by the door. The knot in his stomach returned almost instantly and he grit his teeth behind pursed lips as he glared.

“Your laundry is on your bed.” He said shortly. Kurloz raised a brow at him, but said nothing, sticking his hands in his shorts pockets as he headed towards the bedroom behind Meulin. Quick as a flash he nicked a brownie, and despite not having said a word about when Meulin did it, Kankri’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you watched what you ate, Kurloz. Do you not care about gaining weight anymore?”

Kurloz went still for a moment, but didn’t dignify Kankri’s barb with an answer. Instead, he stole a second brownie, took a massive bite out of the first, and headed towards his room.

Kankri heard laughter from the other side of the door and bit his lip so hard it bled. He heard a creak and looked down; the broom handle had bent under his hands. With a muttered curse he tossed the broom aside and abandoned the chores to go to his own respiteblock. Without a doubt, he needed something a little more than cleaning to calm his nerves.

The moment the door closed and silence flooded his ears Kankri sighed and sunk down to sit on the carpeted floor. Not for the first time in his life was he grateful that he’d soundproofed his room the moment Kurloz and Cronus had asked him to move in. It was so still in the room that Kankri could almost hear the thudding of his own heart, a soothing sensation that made him close his eyes in utter bliss. After the chaos of the morning and the still storming emotions curdling his guts, this was heaven.

_Maybe you don’t need a vacation after all,_ Something in the back of his mind whispered. _Maybe you can just lock yourself in your room once in a while._

Kankri pondered it for a moment. He did have an on-suite bathroom, maybe it would be nice to just relax and soak sometimes when things got to be too much and his emotions boiled over. Certainly it was better than the alternative, lashing out at his ashen mates whenever he felt they were being too stupid for their own good.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? Kankri sighed and tucked his knees up under his chin, hugging them tight to his chest. At least on his side - he wasn’t sure about them - it’d become less about Kankri resolving Cronus and Kurloz’s issues and more about one-upping them and exposing their innate clumsiness in navigating their relationship. Kankri did everything possible lately to make them feel like idiots. More often than not, to his chagrin, it backfired.

“I’m a terrible auspistice and a worse kismesis,” Kankri mumbled to himself, startled slightly that he’d spoken aloud. It sounded so much louder when there was no one in the room with him, shouting over him and arguing. “Maybe it’s finally time to admit it to yourself, eh, Kankri? It’s not as if they don’t know already.”

His cheeks burned even at the thought. He could imagine their expressions now; Kurloz incredulous as Kankri confessed, mockery lighting up his eyes as Cronus howled with laughter in the background. _You?_ He’d wheeze, clutching his stomach, a twisted grin pulling his lips wide in Kankri’s imaginary setup. _You want to get with us? That’s cute. You’re pathetic, Kanny, why would we ever want someone weak and useless like you? A dumb little mutie couldn’t stand up to us, much less keep up._

Kankri felt sick. He clenched his teeth and swallowed, eyes stinging as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

Maybe he really did need a vacation. Maybe Kurloz was right; maybe he really was running away. But for whose benefit, he wondered, pouring himself a bath and stripping down, his or theirs? Certainly Kurloz and Cronus would be better with an ashen mate who wasn’t not-so-secretly pitch for both of them.

Kankri slipped into the bubbly bathtub and sighed, miniature gills flaring out and taking in the soapy water. It felt nice to just soak, letting everything else melt away. The warm water lapped at his frame and he felt all the weariness from the day settling somewhere in the pit of his stomach. His eyelids tugged shut and he yawned, resting his head against the back of the tub.

  


 

The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing woke Kankri a little while later. He sat up, trying to collect bubbles to cover his lower area only to find that they’d all faded away and the water was cold. He looked up; Kurloz was standing over him, head tilted, arms folded, an amused smile on his face.

_We was wondering where you went, punchline._ He said, laughter ringing in Kankri’s ears that made his cheeks burn. _All that spite tire you out that much?_

“Go away. Don’t call me punchline.” Kankri mumbled, rubbing his eyes and suppressing a yawn. A quick glance at the window told him that it’d already gotten dark outside. He groaned. “What time is it?”

_Almost nine. Cronus was starting to worry, he even went and made dinner because you didn’t._

“About time someone around here took up some responsibility for housework,” Kankri mumbled. “Can you leave, please? I’d like to get out of the bath.”

The corners of Kurloz’s lips twitched. _I ain’t stoppin you, brother._

Kankri’s lips pursed. “I’d like some _privacy._ ” He said pointedly.

_Sucks._

Kurloz didn’t move out of the bathroom. Instead he moved closer, kneeling down beside the bathtub, leaning his chin in his hands and his elbows on the rim. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he reached down one finger, lazily tracing patterns in the milky-looking, soapy water. Kankri leaned back, looking guarded and unsure, still trying to cover himself.

_Don’t act shy._ Kurloz’s voice in his head was a low purr, husky and rasping, and it made Kankri’s breaths stop in his throat. He felt his stomach flutter and he swallowed. _Stand up. Ain’t nothing I ain’t seen before._

“That doesn’t matter,” Kankri said stubbornly, tilting his chin up in defiance. Kurloz’s eyes strayed to his battering pulse and Kankri’s cheeks burned hotter, fins twitching. “What are you staring at? Stop it!”

A low, rumbling chuckle left Kurloz and he licked his lips with what little tongue he had left. _Sorry,_ He said, though he didn’t sound sorry at all. _You’re awful distracting, punchline. No wonder Cronus wants to just eat you all up._

“He does?” He didn’t even correct Kurloz’s nickname.

The words were out of his lips before he could even stop himself. He clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide and panic flaring to life there. He swallowed. “I mean--”

_He does._

Kurloz’s lips pulled into a wicked smile and his eyes glittered maliciously. Kankri didn’t like that look, not at all. He backed away against the wall as Kurloz leaned closer, one hand sinking into the water to settle on Kankri’s hip, lips brushing dangerously close to Kankri’s pulse. Kankri whimpered as he felt a rush of heat flood his system and clamped down hard on his tongue to refocus himself. It didn’t help, however, as Kurloz spoke again.

_Maybe I do too. Would be nice to see that pretty candy color somewhere other than your eyes, wouldn’t it._ His claws dug into Kankri’s hip and Kankri hissed, unintentionally tilting his head back. Kurloz’s teeth grazed his pulse and Kankri shuddered. _Be nice to make you let go for once._

“I don’t...” Kankri whispered, and he hated how breathy his voice sounded even to his own ears. Kurloz laughed again, running his tongue along the bitemark, and Kankri gasped.

The noise was smothered by Kurloz’s lips on his. They burned cold against Kankri’s own feverish skin, and the mutant couldn’t help but flinch as he felt the change in temperature. It felt _wrong_ , oh so wrong to have Kurloz kissing him, passionate and rough, gripping him so tightly it hurt. The tingle of pleasure that raced up his spine made him moan into the kiss and clutch at Kurloz’s shirt with soaking hands, claws digging into the fabric. Kurloz hissed, bit down with those sharp teeth, and Kankri felt his lip give way. The pain should have pissed him off, should have made him hit Kurloz and curse him out, kick him out of the room, but all he did was bite back.

_Hard._

Kurloz growled. The bite lit a fire in him and Kankri gave a grunt as the other lifted Kankri’s hips, tugging them close, almost moving into the bathtub with him in an attempt to get closer. Kankri panted, breaking the kiss for just a second, scrabbling for purchase on Kurloz’s clothes. They tore under his hands and Kurloz _laughed._

_See, Cronus is afraid to make a move before you do,_ Kurloz murmured, pulling Kankri’s lower lip between his and sucking. _I’m not. I know you want to let go, too._

Kankri was trying so, so hard to retain control of his body, of himself, but it was slipping quickly. Panic clutched at his heart. “Kurloz--” He whispered, his voice raising in pitch the deeper he fell.

Kurloz wasn’t listening. He leaned in, kissing Kankri again roughly, and Kankri moaned open mouthed into the kiss. For a second he wanted to slip under, let this happen - they both wanted it, _he_ wanted it.

His bulge writhed in its sheath and it was the final straw; he pushed on Kurloz’s shoulders and dug his claws in with another _rip_ of fabric.

“Kurloz, stop!”

Quick as a flash, the moment the word was uttered, Kurloz pulled away. There was a look of disappointment on his face, a slight frown pulling at his full mouth. Kankri couldn’t stop staring at those lips, thinking about how they’d been so cool against his throat, the way they looked smeared in red and purple. He took a deep, steadying breath, trying to ignore the way he’d been breathing heavy and how hot his whole body felt. His hands clutched at the cloth rail in the bathtub as if the small plastic rod would be able to keep him grounded. It didn’t.

“I don’t -” Kankri swallowed, trying to get his quivering voice. He wiped his lip on his sleeve and was unsurprised to find bright red blood smearing the back of his hand. “I don’t _want_ to let go.”

For a moment it looked like Kurloz’s eyes went dark. Kankri felt a shiver run through him that was colder, much colder than the heated lust racing through his veins. Any want he’d had was almost instantly quelled. Kurloz took a breath and his nostrils flared for just a second.

_Fine._ He said, short and curt. He turned on his heel, opening the door and walking through it. _I’ll tell Cronus that you’ll come for dinner soon._

The door slammed and Kankri was alone again, heart racing, eyes wide and lip bleeding. With a weak little noise, he sunk below the water, wishing that it would drown him.

_You did the right thing,_ That voice in his head told him. _He was only mocking you. He doesn’t_ want _you. Cronus doesn’t want you. You just saved yourself a load of humiliation._

It didn’t help that Kankri already felt humiliated. He rubbed his eyes until he saw stars, closing them tightly and keeping an arm over his face as he tried his damnest to regain control of his emotions.

“I need that vacation.” He mumbled, the words coming out as bubbles that floated up to the surface of the water. He was glad that no one was around to hear him as more bubbles floated up, carrying weak, tired little sobs.

It took almost fifteen minutes before Kankri had collected himself enough to crawl out of the tub and drain it. The water was a milky grey, his fingers pruned. He felt disgust rolling in his stomach, rising up his throat as bile. Certainly Kurloz had to have been fooling with him, sitting there in filthy water, looking wrinkled and foul. There was no way he could have looked at Kankri at that moment and felt anything but revulsion. Even the image filled Kankri with that same emotion, how could anyone feel anything else?

Slowly he dried himself off and pulled on a pair of pyjamas. He was silent, combing his hair as best he could before heading down over the stairs. The smell of roast chicken and potatoes hit his nose and his stomach twisted uncomfortably. The hunger that he’d been ignoring since earlier suddenly came back with a vengeance and his whole torso felt like it was trying to eat itself.

The loud rumbling coming from his gut pulled the attention of the three people at the table - Kurloz, Cronus and Meulin, who’d stayed for dinner. Their plates were already empty, glasses of beer and wine half gone as well, chatting animatedly. They looked up as he came into the room, looking sheepish and feeling out of place in his pyjamas while they were all still dressed.

Kankri glanced at Kurloz. The other wasn’t looking at him. His cheeks burned.

“Carry on,” He mumbled. “Don’t mind me. I’m….working on something, I’ll take my dinner up to the study.”

“Kanny--” Cronus started, but Kurloz cut him off with a hissing shush. Kankri didn’t even need to look as he took up his dinner on a plate, he knew that Kurloz had given Cronus a look to shut him up and avoid asking questions. He felt the air of concern in the air coming from Cronus and Meulin, heavy on his back, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to leave the room before he rounded and exploded on them both to _just leave me alone already_.

“Thanks for the brownies…!” Meulin called to his retreating back as he scuttled up the stairs. He didn’t answer, not trusting his already croaky voice.

He didn’t stop speedwalking until he was back in his room, the door closed and the plate of food settled on his desk. His guts curled in hunger but looking at the food made him feel sick despite the delicious smell of his normally favorite meal. He curled up on his bed, staring at it, trying to will himself to eat and failing miserably.

 

 

Cronus cornered him the next day as he was working on his computer. Sites with travel packages, even apartment rates were open in multiple tabs on his browser, Kankri’s face scrunched in confusion as he scribbled down messy numbers and maths in a notebook. The plate of food was sitting beside him still, barely picked at and cold as stone by now.

Kankri heard the door open and immediately tabbed out of his current page, cheeks going red and eyes wide as he looked up at Cronus with a guilty expression on his face. He looked exhausted under the flush, bags under his eyes and his skin a little paler than usual. He was….messy, oddly enough for him, clothes and hair rumpled as if he’d slept funny and then just not bothered to fix himself up before dragging himself to the computer. Cronus looked him up and down, then snorted.

“Hey, Kan, you look like shit. What’re you--”

He stopped, frowning. He looked from Kankri’s guilty face, to the suitcase on the bed, to the conspicuously locked screen. Kankri never locked his screen. Cronus’ eyes fell to the folded boxes stacked neatly in one corner. They narrowed and Kankri swallowed thickly. “...Are you _packing_?”

What was Kankri supposed to do? He froze like a deer in headlights under Cronus’ fuming glare. His teeth were bared, all but growling as he loomed over Kankri, who was still sitting in his desk chair and leaning away as if he didn’t want to be anywhere near the mess that was Cronus’ emotions right now. Hurt, anger and resentment echoed from his eyes to his expression and Kankri had to resist the urge to bolt from the chair and out of the room. He didn’t want to be facing this so soon.

“Yes,” He said, wincing as his voice came out as a squeak. He swallowed, cleared his throat, tried again with an attempt at a more even tone. “I told you I was planning to take a vacation, of course I would need to take things with me--”

“This ain’t a vacation!” Cronus all but howled, flailing a wild arm towards the boxes Kankri had yet to tape together. “This is just you lookin’ to abandon us altogether!”

“I am not--” Kankri began, but Cronus cut him off.

“--Lemme guess, this vacation of yours, you’re probably wantin to take it in the city, in a different hive or somethin, right? And then it’ll just be oh, damn, guess I’m never comin back, it’s too much effort to move all my shit back into the hivestem, you’ll have to find another _shitty auspistice-_ ”

The slap rang out through the room. It deafened Kankri for a moment in the silence that followed it. As if in slow motion he could watch the purple mark of his hand blossom on Cronus’ cheek, the seadweller having turned his head with the force of the blow. He hadn’t even realised when he’d stood up, when he’d reached out to slap Cronus, the movement a blur. Something like horror and guilt panged in Kankri’s chest icy-hot for only a moment before anger snuffed it out again. His fists clenched at his sides.

For several long moments Cronus didn’t move, as if processing what just happened. Then, he smirked, letting out a soft breath of laughter that made Kankri’s blood go cold. His hand reached up to press lightly against the burning bruise now taking form on his face.

“Is that how it is.” He murmured low in his throat.

Kankri’s jaw and stomach clenched. He grit his teeth, setting a challenging angle to his chin, horns tossed back. “Don’t you dare insult me,” He said in a tremulous, angry voice. “I did my best for you. I worked my hardest keeping this hivestem in some semblance of order while you two tried to tear it and one another apart, day in and out. Heaven forbid I want to have a life of my own that isn’t domineered by--”

“By what, Kanny?” Cronus’ eyes narrowed. “Go ahead. Say it. You wanna run away not because you have to take care of us but because you’re tired of us. You’re tired of pretendin not to hate us. You just don’t like that you have these messy emotions and you’d rather keep it all locked away or better yet, pretend it doesn’t exist and run off whenever you dare develop _feelings_ .” He said the last word in a mocking tone. “ _Look at me, I’m Kanny, I don’t like bein a normal troll and having feelings, I’d rather just stick the pole right back up my ass and duck out before anythin good can happen!”_

“Shut UP!” Kankri launched himself at Cronus. The seadweller’s eyes barely had time to widen before the shorter troll had him pinned up against the wall with surprising strength, hands closed around his throat - not squeezing, but threatening, fingers just barely scraping across Cronus’ gills. As the shock faded away from Cronus’ expression, it was replaced by a snarling smile, bordering the line of predatory.

“You really wanna do this, huh, Kanny?” He purred.

_There’s no going back_ , the thing in the back of his mind whispered. _Be sure you know what you’re doing, Kankri. You know where this is going to go, think about it, don’t just rush into this--_

But he didn’t have to rethink this. The way his blood was singing in his veins, pulse roaring in his ears, he knew exactly what he was doing. There was a fire lit under him and inside him, and as much as it should have scared him it only drove him further. He wanted to hurt Cronus. He wanted to put Cronus in his place. He wanted to bite and scratch and _claim--_

“Yes.” Kankri whispered back.

Cronus’ smile only widened. Kankri had no time to regret his decision before Cronus lunged, flipping them over and pinning Kankri by the shoulders. His fins were flared, pupils narrowed and a sneer on his face. His claws dug into Kankri’s shoulders. Kankri snarled, teeth bared and horns forward, gripping Cronus’ shirt so hard by the collar that it ripped.

Cronus either didn’t notice or didn’t care as he crushed his lips to Kankri’s in a possessive, demanding kiss. Wouldn’t be the first time someone in this house had torn his clothes, after all.

Kankri didn’t seem to notice, either. Instantly it was like all the pieces fell into place for him. The boiling-hot, near feral urge to mark and strike and bite came back and he growled into the kiss, pressing up against Cronus. He tangled a hand in the other’s hair and pulled, _hard_ , pleased when he was rewarded with a heated snarl and a bite to his lower lip. He bit back, and when his tongue flicked against Cronus’ mouth he could taste blood. It tasted like victory.

“Shit - got more backbone than I thought. Fuckin’ bitch,” Cronus hissed, breaths heavy. He groaned as Kankri reached down, dragging him closer with sharp claws in his hip. He wasn’t about to say no, pinning Kankri full-body to the wall, grabbing both his hands and pinning them to the wall above Kankri’s head. His leg wedged between Kankri’s thighs. He grinned hungrily as Kankri arched up, giving a muffled hiss of pleasure. “Knew you couldn’t resist, I could see it, you preachy little hypocrite--”

“Shut up.” Kankri’s cheeks were flushed, breaths heavy and lips kiss-bruised. His silly little underdeveloped fins were pinned back and glowing red. He glared at Cronus with a look that was a mixture of humiliation, need and hatred. His curly hair fell into his eyes as he panted and Cronus had to resist the urge to pin him by the throat and kiss him breathless again just to see how far he could push this. “Spoiled, selfish _whore--_ ”

Cronus laughed, sneering down at Kankri. “You’re one to talk. Tellin us you’re gonna run away, then throwin yourself at me. Look at you, grindin yourself against my leg like a bitch in heat. Might just need a pail all for yourself.”

Kankri’s eyes narrowed and his face flooded red. Cronus didn’t have time to mock him further, as Kankri leaned forward and kissed him again, hot and rough. He didn’t waste any time, deepening the kiss and giving a low groan when Kankri bit his tongue in retaliation. His claws dug into Kankri’s wrists and he earned himself a shuddering gasp that made a shock of pleasure race straight to his sheath.

“That’s it, babe, come on,” He whispered breathlessly into the kiss. “Mark me up, baby. Bite me.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Kankri hissed. Hearing him swear just might have been the hottest thing about this whole situation, Cronus thought, panting as Kankri’s hips met his. He didn’t care that they were dry-humping against a wall like prepupescent trolls. The heat of Kankri’s body, his breath against Cronus’ lips, the bites and lashes of his tongue and the gasping moans were enough to make him forget anything else. It looked that way for Kankri, too, because without thinking the other troll lifted himself up, wrapping his legs around Cronus’ waist to properly grind against him. Cronus shuddered and groaned as he reached a hand down to grope Kankri’s ass and hold him up properly.

“Why would I do that when I got you?” Cronus said, low and husky.

The tone sent shivers down Kankri’s spine and he panted, hips rocking up against Cronus’, thighs working to keep him balanced as he had no hands to hold himself up. There was a look of bitter spite in Kankri’s eyes. They fluttered shut and he let out a throaty sort of noise as Cronus leaned in, sucking dark bruises into Kankri’s neck and tonguing at his sealed gills. He gasped, and Cronus crooned as he felt the other unsheathe under him.

“Eager, are we?”

“Bite me.”

Cronus obliged and Kankri arched up with a sharp cry, horns scraping against the wall as he tossed his head back. He could feel something hot trickling down his shoulder, seeping into his sweater, and his bulge lashed. _He actually bit me._

“Bastard.” He ground out.

“You love it.” Cronus rolled his hips lazily against Kankri’s. His point was proven when Kankri groaned and shuddered, grinding back up against him on pure instinct alone. “God, I bet you’re already wet for me, aren’t you? I knew you were a slut under all that holier than thou bullshit.”

Kankri wanted to reply, to mouth off to Cronus, but he was cut off by the soft _clink_ of a glass on the nearby coffee table. Both trolls turned to look at the same time - Kankri anxious and embarrassed, Cronus looking ready to fight whoever’d made the mistake of interrupting them. When they saw who it was, though, both went pale.

Kurloz stood there, arms folded, a small smile on his face. There was a slight tilt to his head as he looked the two over, a mischievous glitter to his eyes. It was obvious that he’d been there for a while, watching as the other two completely lost track of the world around him.

Under Kurloz’s gaze Kankri was instantly aware of his legs around Cronus’ waist, the bite mark on his neck, the bruise on Cronus’ cheek. It was all too obvious what had been going on.

In front of him Cronus gave a weak wheeze, smiling and trying not to cringe away. “Kurloz, buddy,” He said, glancing to Kankri as if to say _help me out here._ The look Kankri gave him in return was nothing short of pure spite. “It - I, uh...We were just…”

Kurloz said nothing as he crossed the room. Both trolls felt a similar jolt of fear run down their spines, thinking that he was about to lay them both out, but then--

Kurloz took hold of Kankri’s hair, pulling his head back and kissing him.

Several seconds of shock passed. The fire in Kankri’s belly, having been so close to being extinguished as Kurloz made his presence known, flared back up with an almost frightening intensity. Kankri parted his lips into the kiss, leaning up into the claws currently pulling his hair roughly to one side. His tongue slid along the ripped stitches on Kurloz’s mouth and he growled in a way that made Kankri shudder.   
  
_Cronus was right,_ He heard Kurloz hiss. _You really are a slut. We knew you couldn’t resist. All it took was the right amount of pressure and now look at you….you’re putty in our hands. Do you know how long we’ve been trying to get you to break? So glad you finally came to your senses._

“Fuck you.” Kankri whispered into the kiss, and Kurloz laughed. In front of him, he felt Cronus grope him again, leaning in close and going back to leaving purplish hickeys on his neck. He groaned, tightening his thighs around Cronus’ hips to properly pull him closer.

Kurloz took a turn holding Kankri’s hands up and away from the fun and Kankri growled.

_Are you sure you want this,_ Kurloz’s voice whispered in his head despite his words just a few moments ago. _Say the word and we’ll let go._

Kankri hesitated. As much as he wanted to prove the two of them wrong, pull himself away and declare this pitch mess over and done with, the heat in his belly wouldn’t let him. He was too proud, too stubborn….he wanted this too much. The chilling coolness of both their bodies pressed against him, touching and kissing him, the fangs sunk into his neck claiming him as theirs...it was all he’d wanted. He couldn’t push away the bitter pitch that seared him when he looked at the two of them. In his lust-soaked daze, he couldn’t understand why he’d done it in the first place. Why deny himself? Why deny them?

“I hate you both,” he hissed, and Cronus gave a low rumble of agreement against Kankri’s pulse, grinding against him slow and teasing. Kurloz smiled, and for a second Kankri almost thought he looked proud. Kankri wanted to wipe that smile off his face by any means.

“Feeling’s mutual, Kan.”

_We hate you, too._

Kurloz tapped Cronus’ shoulder and jerked his head towards the couch. Cronus glanced at it, then nodded, tugging Kankri’s legs from around his waist and back towards the floor. Kurloz let go of Kankri’s now thoroughly bruised wrists. Before Kankri could do anything, though, they were both taking a hand and guiding him to the couch. He shot them both confused looks, but all he got from either one of them was a teasing little smile and a wink.

Kurloz laid himself down on the couch first. He pulled Kankri on top of him, kissing him again hard and possessive. His teeth caught on Kankri’s lips and the mutant groaned, leaning up into the hands that were currently tugging off his sweater. Cronus’ or Kurloz’s, he couldn’t tell. Everything was a blur of sensation and cool hands on his heated skin as he was stripped to nothing between the two of them. Kurloz’s hands groped at his ass, Cronus’ hands slipping between his thighs and his breaths hitched at the combination of feelings. He swore softly.

“What a filthy mouth,” Cronus murmured from somewhere behind him. A finger slid into Kankri’s nook, cold and intrusive, and he gave a surprised cry. “So cute.”

Kurloz gave a hum of agreement. He was all but holding Kankri open for Cronus to explore as Kankri rocked back against the finger inside him, panting heavily against Kurloz’s chest. _Didn’t take much, did it,_ Kankri heard in his head. _Look how pretty he is. Spread out for us._

“Spread out for _me._ ” Cronus corrected with a low growl, snapping his jaws at Kurloz, who only winked and blew him a kiss.

_Jealous, are we?_

“He came to me first.” The growl in his voice grew louder. Possessive. It made Kankri shudder. Cronus slid another finger into Kankri’s nook and the mutant jerked back against it, whimpering. “He’ll come for me first, too.”

“I’m not your fucking toy!” Kankri’s words held no anger or fire like they normally did, his voice high and needy, face buried in Kurloz’s chest and hands clutching at the couch. He shifted to look back, glaring at Cronus. “Stop playing tug of war and just get on with it already!”

Both Kurloz and Cronus chuckled softly. In an instant Kankri felt the dynamic change - Kurloz and Cronus suddenly seeming to pair off against him. He wasn’t sure if this was a good thing, but the way his nook clenched around the fingers still inside him whispered _Yes_ , yes it is, this is very good. Maybe he’d get the attention he wanted.

Kurloz’s eyes sparkled with mischief. _Did you hear that?_ He whispered. _He wants to rush us._

“Mm, not sure if we should…” Cronus purred teasingly. He leaned over Kankri’s back and it was immediately very obvious that Cronus had stripped at some point along the way. His bulge, long and thick, wormed its way between the cleft of Kankri’s ass and Kankri shuddered. “I mean...He didn’t even ask nicely or anything….”

“ _I’m going to kick you if you don’t fucking hurry up.”_ Kankri snarled. His claws dug into the couch on either side of Kurloz’s face. Kurloz laughed.

_I think we should listen to the man._

“Well, shit, I can’t argue with that.”

The next thing Kankri felt was a searing cold pushing its way up into him from behind. Every muscle in his nook clenched down and Kankri gave a hoarse sound of pleasure, pressing back into the bulge now currently burrowing itself into him. Behind him, Cronus moaned, gripping his hips tightly as he slid himself home. “ _Fuck_ ,” He hissed, leaning over and resting his forehead against Kankri’s shoulder blades. “Damn, Kanny, maybe give a guy a little space to move, huh? You’re so fuckin’ tight…”

_Bet it feels like miracles. Hot and wet._ There’s something to Kurloz’s voice that Kankri’s brain is far too muddled to process at the moment, but still it makes him pant and whine. _Move over, brother. Need me some space in there._

“No way, wait your turn!” Cronus’ fins flare, but the appeal of both of them inside his nook is too much for Kankri. He pushes down onto Cronus’ bulge with a reedy sort of trill, making Cronus shut up mid-argument as he feels the walls of Kankri’s nook clench down in greed and hunger. “--Fuck, okay, yeah, go ahead.”

Kurloz chuckled. He reached down, undoing his pants and unsheathing a bulge just as thick as Cronus’ but _much_ longer. Kankri could feel it tickling at the slit of his nook even with his ass in the air and a weak little whimper left him. Before he had a chance to get it inside him, though, Kurloz moved up onto his elbows, leaning against the arm of the couch and leveling his bulge with Kankri’s face. Kankri glared at him, but the effect was minimal with the blissed-out expression he still wore.

“And what do you think you’re--” Kankri doesn’t have time to finish the question. Kurloz threaded a hand through Kankri’s hair, pulling him down mid-word onto his bulge. For several seconds Kankri gagged, but the sweetish thick flavor of Kurloz’s material was almost alluring in a way. Combined with the feeling of Cronus’ bulge lashing in his nook, it almost felt mind-numbingly wonderful. His eyes fluttered shut and he lowered his head, sucking eagerly.

_That’s it._ A soothing voice whispered in his head. _Look at you. Acting the pretty little pitch pail. You were made for this. Made to hate us. Made to fuck us. So beautiful. So spiteful. Such a good pail._

Kankri’s whole body screamed _yes_ in return, hot and trembling and wanting more. He could hear the moans from the two trolls above and below him, but it was almost as if they were far away. Not that he minded all that much, as long as the bulges inside his nook and mouth didn’t pull away anytime soon…

“Are you mind-controllin’ him?” Cronus hissed, swatting at Kurloz’s horn. Kurloz snapped at Cronus’ hand as it pulled back, gripping Kankri’s hair tighter and pulling a weak moan from him. Cronus would have told him off, but Kurloz gave a shake of his head and glanced down at Kankri pointedly. His eyes weren’t glowing purple; in their half-lidded state the red of his pupils were clearly visible. A line of drool and prematerial trailed from his lolling tongue to the tip of Kurloz’s bulge. He looked up at Cronus, panting. Cronus’ mood instantly changed; his fins wiggled and he flashed a grin.

“I guess I ain’t got no guilt then.”

He pulled back, then buried himself as deep into Kankri’s nook as he could. Kankri gave a choked noise as the resulting thrust forced Kurloz’s bulge deep into his throat, his eyes going wide. His whole body tensed, nook clenching down as Cronus did it again and again, pounding into him rough and reckless.

Kurloz’s eyes rolled back as Kankri deep-throated him with every thrust that rolled his body forward. His thoughts became nothing more than a garbled mess of _yes_ and _more_ , echoing their own pleasure back to them. He gripped Kankri’s hair harder, pushing him down deeper. Cronus, feeling the effects of the literal feedback loop in his head, sped up his thrusts and pushed his forehead against Kankri’s shoulderblades, leaving deep ragged scratches along Kankri’s hip with his claws. In the middle of the two of them, all but lost at sea, Kankri held on tightly to the couch cushion, toes curling and moaning raggedly around Kurloz’s bulge.

None of them could think beyond the haze they’d pulled themselves under. Waves of pleasure crashed on them hard and quick and sudden; Kankri was the first to come, going limp between the both of them and trembling as his bulge spilled candy red onto the couch. Cronus and Kurloz both were almost instantly behind him, Cronus uttering a broken moan and stilling, buried deep inside Kankri’s seedflap and Kurloz raking his claws through Kankri’s hair and coming deep down his throat. Drunk on pleasure, Kankri gulped the material down pliantly, barely having the sense to pull away until Kurloz tugged him away and let go of his hair.

Both Cronus and Kankri crumpled into a heap on top of Kurloz, who wheezed slightly and slapped them both upside the head. Cronus ignored him and Kankri gave his ribs a light bite in retaliation before snuggling into his side. They all stayed there for quite some time, breathless and panting, barely having the willpower to move or leg strength to move

It was Kankri who spoke up first. “I hope you know this isn’t a permanent thing.” He said, his voice raw and hoarse. “I _am_ still your auspistice.”

Kurloz snorted and Cronus couldn’t help but laugh. Kankri frowned. “What?”

“Oh, man, Kanny. Kitten. You can’t just hatefuck us into the next dimension and then pull a red card that fast.” Cronus grinned, while Kurloz nodded his agreement. “Specially not when you still got Kurloz’s jizz all over your chin.”

_Cronus._

“What? It’s true. We’re all buck-ass naked and he’s covered in purple. I can’t take anythin seriously right now.”

Cheeks flushing, Kankri wiped his mouth, smearing it all over Cronus’ cheek. He let out an indignant howl and batted Kankri’s hand away. “Kanny - what the hell?!”

“Now I’m not the only one covered in purple.” He said haughtily.

Kurloz had to clutch his sides in laughter, burying his head into the crook of Kankri’s neck. Cronus grumbled, flushed and embarrassed, and gave both Kankri and Kurloz a good solid whack upside the horns.

“Assholes.”

Kankri couldn’t help but think that it sounded almost fond. Then-

_Are you still considering leaving us?_

Kankri blinked in surprise. The question broke through the post-sex haze of bliss and made both Cronus and Kankri frown, looking up at Kurloz. There was something close to worry in Kurloz’s eyes, and if Kankri didn’t know any better, he’d almost say that the other’s arms tightened around him. It made his chest tighten slightly.

Slowly, he took a breath, considering his options.

“No.” he said, and he felt more than heard Cronus and Kurloz give twin breaths of relief. “But...we do need to talk about the limits of this relationship - and how much responsibility the three of us are now _sharing_. I refuse to be your maid anymore-”

“Kan.” Cronus tried to interrupt.

“-And frankly, the amount of pressure the housework alone puts on me, on top of making meals, and making sure you two won’t kill one another--”

_Kankri._ Kurloz butted in.

“-It’s really nonsensical, I really drive this household while you two are busy cavorting, you know, and one messy bout of pailing isn’t going to fix all our issues, you two really need to consider therapy or some other valid source of relief for your relationship--”  
  
“ _Kankri!_ ”

Kankri stopped talking as both of them spoke rather loudly. His lips pursed. “What?”

“We only wanted a yes or a no,” Cronus gave a bemused little smile. “What brought all this around? Is that why you were so pissed off at us all the time?”

Flushing, Kankri gave a shrug. “It’s been…. On my mind.” He murmured.

_Clearly._ There was laughter in Kurloz’s eyes. _But we can talk about it later. Don’t ruin the miracles, punchline. Just relax for once._

“Easy for you to say,” Kankri mumbled. Kurloz traced little lines along his shoulders and he felt the weight from the last few days easing off. “And don’t--” He yawned. “--don’t call me punchline.”

_Whatever you say, punchline._

 

__

__


End file.
